Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
