I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize