3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
We had to coat check the pizza.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize