Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
