Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize
