Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
It's Friday. Sex?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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