Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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