Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
