when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
