Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
