i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
im holly from the hills drunk
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
