I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
