So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
