i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
She's not a foreskin expert like you
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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