she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
