what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
