what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize