You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
