he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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