Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
