She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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