I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
