girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
my nose is crying tears of wow.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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