is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
