my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize