make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
