Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
