how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
