The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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