Pappa wants mamma naked
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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