I'm lost and stupid without you.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
