Duck Duck Cougar?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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