just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I woke up under a house in Key West
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