we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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