I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
