Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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