So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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