my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Lo siento on account of my penis...
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
