I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
