brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
