Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
