We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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