WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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