I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize