FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
