im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
