I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
