ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
We have started to decorate penises.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
