I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I need to calm my uterus...
Randomize