just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
