Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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