Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
