Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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