Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
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