Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
There's even glitter on my cock...
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