talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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